Waiting can be torturous!

Are you a patient person? I’m not. Not by nature anyway. I can be completely patient but it is usually a focused effort, a conscious thing. As soon as I typed that last sentence I realized there are qualifiers to that statement. Inexplicably, I can be incredibly patient and even surprise myself! But when it comes to something that is going to be positive-ly life changing for me, I vacillate back and forth (kinda like someone who has only two speeds–hysteria or lethargy–my Dad used to say). 

(5 1/2 hrs have passed)

Well, I suddenly found myself feeling very down after I got home from work. Couldn’t tell ya why but I figured I’d run through the “HALT” (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) checklist. I was hungry, lonely and tired. First things first. Nourishment. I drove myself to the diner and on the way there left a couple peeps messages. And while there I sent a few txts and got a few back. Next thing I knew, a few tears leapt out of my weary little eyeballs and ran down my cheeks. I realized, as I sat there alone, how sad I was that I’ll be celebrating my Mom’s 70th birthday without my Dad. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. And how sad my Mom must be without him. I guess sitting there eating alone triggered these thoughts. Usually, I’m fine dashing out on my own when my better half isn’t around. But tonight was different.

After a quick bite a met up with a bunch of friends that share a common goal and we hung together for an hour. I knew that would make me feel better (I planned that before I even pulled out of the driveway for the diner). I had remedied hungry and lonely.

I’m finding writing the past few days has been a great outlet.

Now I’m just tired and the only solution I know of is to go to bed. So away I go. G’night y’all. Sleep well and pleasant dreams.

The Sounds of Silence

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock goes the big clock above the sliding door. Percolator purring kitty on my lap. A motorcycle ripping down the street in the distance. A train whistle from the tracks across town. The buzz of a small aircraft flying overhead, getting louder as it closes in on the house then fades as it continues to travel east. Truck engines humming, overlapped by the train, tick-tock of the clock, percolator purring, and the slightest electrical buzzing from my laptop. A regular concerto! It’s cool to hear the sounds of silence.

I seldom have the house to myself, especially in the evening. As much as I am energized by the hustle and bustle of the day, strategizing, problem solving, thinking, analyzing… I am grateful for moments like this. It’s rejuvenating. Feels like the air getting pumped back into the deflated pool toy after it was out in the sun all day. I’m so tired I could fall asleep at my keyboard but writing is relaxing. It’s like when you tip your head sideways and thump the side of it to get the water out of your ear. That’s what it feels like when I’m writing after a day like today. 

Don’t get me wrong, today wasn’t a bad day, just draining. I had to be into work by 7:!5am to prep for a presentation that included the president as a member of the audience. Outside vendor was the presenter but I’m one of the “leads” (it’s a long story, sordid and aggravating, not the vendor, the politics of the situation) on the project. First meeting was 2+ hours straight. Then 30 minute break. Then (4) 1-hour focus groups. Followed by a 30 minute break. Followed by a 75 minute meeting that included the president again, which ended triumphantly. Another 30 minute meeting. Then straight away to an appointment from 6-7pm. Home at 7:15. Now, 12 hours may not seem like a long day but at the level of sustain that was necessary to accomplish the day’s goal, it felt much longer.

A bowl of cereal and two pieces of toast smeared with some organic not-quite-peanut-butter-spread constituted dinner (it was all the energy I felt like exerting to feed myself). And now it’s almost 9pm. One more quick business call to make and the day will be officially over. BRB.

Okay, not so quick after all. But a good debriefing about the days’ work.

Tomorrow’s to-do list: On to even bigger and better things. 

Goooooooooooooal!!!

Yesterday we kicked off our spring futbol season. And oh how wonderous it was! After two years of being stuck, er, playing in goal, I was able to step onto the pitch at left mid. Ahhhh, wide open space. The day may have been gloomy but our spirits were high. We were all happy to see one another, quickly got caught up and welcomed our new players (quality additions, btw). We heard the very sad news of the sudden loss of a teammate’s father and acknowledged the absence of one of our regulars who recently moved away. We huddled, chanted “1-2-3-WIN!” and the opposing team kicked off the first 40 minutes of play.

Being that our opponents were one of the two top teams in the league, I thought I’d be a bit nervous but oddly enough, I settled right in. It was odd for some of my teammates to see me playing in front of them but they acclimated quickly. Out of the gate we seemed a tad off our game and subsequently they scored first. Then we started putting together some nice runs, one culminating in a gorgeous cross from my teammate, Sandra, as I made my way toward the goal. I leapt above the fray to meet the ball with a pounding header that just skimmed the top of the cross bar. A collective groan echoed across the field. No one, however, was more disappointed than me. Had it hit the back of the net, it would have made my top five goals of all time (and I’ve been playing quite awhile). But I’ve gotta tell ya, it felt good anyway. We went into half-time down 1-nil.

In the second half we really started to click. We pressed hard, had some great shots but couldn’t score. Another shot was cleared, to my side and I beat out my defender. Half way between mid-field and the top of the box I ran onto the ball and rifled a shot into the uppermost right hand corner. Gooooooooooal! It was a rocket and there wasn’t a goalie anywhere that could have stopped it. It was beautiful! One of my top 5 goals of all time.

I felt the emotions well up and could have definitely lost it (and almost did). After battling cancer a second time last year, it meant everything to be back on the field yesterday. I was just overwhelmed with gratitude. To be with my friends, to be playing, to be alive.

Life is good.

What in the world is mojovate?

On 27 March 2008 I created a new word and today I’m officially sharing it with the world (although, truth be told, it was previewed on Facebook and Twitter on its’ day of origination). MOJOVATE, [mō'jō'veyt], 1. to magically stimulate others to create or engage; 2. to inspire oneself to perform exceptionally; 3. a captivating spirit or energy that drives innovation. mo•jo•va•tor, noun; She is the top mojovator on her team. mo•jo•va•tor•y, adjective; His speech was exceptionally mojovatory.

My foray into Lexicography. I’ve have been fascinated with words since my 4th grade teacher, Ms. Hosenfeld (more on her in another post perhaps), asked us to explain why things were identified by the names they had been given. At the tender age of nine, this was absolutely boggling. I remember thinking, “Why is a chair called a chair?” OMG, that was like asking me to explain infinity. I thought surely I would lose my mind.

Well, I can’t recall the outcome of that assignment (remember, I hinted that this teacher may come up in a future post) but suffice it to say, I doubt it was favorable. However, it didn’t suppress my enthusiasm for language. I realize that this post will not be properly coded and therefore won’t have the proper line spacing, line breaks or fonts but I’ll figure that out as I go along.