I find that I have very little free head space these days. My “best” thinking is done in my car, where it’s quiet (when I want it to be) and there are few interruptions (except for txt msgs and the occasional phone call). It’s difficult to be creative when the space in your head doesn’t exist for free-form thinking. God, I miss that. It may seem like an oxymoron that someone who is considered an extrovert actually gets twitchy without the requisite quiet/down time. There’s a lot to be said for “nap time” in school. If only we had that at work, ahhhh that would be good.
How come some people are so loud–all of the time? Whatever happened to the “quiet voice” that teachers required you to use as a child when you passed through the hallways? Although, laughter never bothers me. Actually, hearing someone else laugh usually makes me laugh– so thank you to the laughers of the world.
The dog is hyper-obsessing about something (real or imagined) that has escaped her capture and has slipped beneath the stove. The cat (who’s 15 and has gone almost completely deaf) is screaming to go outside. More noise. Scratch, scratch, scratch goes the paw. Meeeooooow goes the cat. The only silent being in this house is Buddah (the rescued boy cat). Note to self: give all future pets names that are Zen-like in nature.
Okay, the dogs OCD has just caused me to scream from the office to “stop it!” Like she speaks English?! But she does know the tone of an unhappy mommy. It will deter her for a moment or two and I can assure you she’ll… spoke too late… she’s already pawing at the stove again. Thank God we just her groomed and her nails are short.
It’s funny. I write posts on this blog as though someone else is actually going to read them. Hahaha. No one even knows it exists! Which I guess is a good thing. That way I can say whatever I want and nobody knows, nobody cares. Hmmm. Is that a good thing?
I’m tired a lot these days. I try to not worry that maybe I have cancer again or that the cancer medication that I have to take is ruining my heart. I try to be philosophical and look at the bright side. Sometimes though I just want to say, “What the F#CK?!” Not once but twice?!! Jesus H. Christ. F#ck.
Speaking of inappropriate language I have found myself swearing up a blue streak in the presence of one–me. Holy cow, it is just one foul word after another when I’m frustrated about something. I get so mad I blurt out made up words trying to rapid fire express every swear word in the book. Sometimes I just start hysterically laughing at myself (at least I’m good company even in bad moments) but other times I’m aghast at my inability to manage the frustration and think, “Holy sh!t, I sound like my Dad after his stroke. If I keep this up that’s all I’ll be able to say to if something goes “haywire”
“One day you’re in, the next day you’re out.”
I’ve been interrupted by a talking head. Go back a few paragraphs and read what I wrote about my need for quiet sometimes and how I get twitchy without it? Exactly.
