Riding the teeter-totter of life.

I just read an interesting post at Top of the Mountain about work, play and balance. My comment was this, “Chores first, play second.” As a child it taught me discipline that has served me well my whole life. I always enjoy playing much more when I know there’s no work waiting on the back end. I grew up with the reward being both the feeling of success from a job well done topped off by something fun (which was anything from playing outside to an extra 30 minute t.v. show). The benefit of learning and living this principle has translated well into my professional life as well.

Are there times I disregard C.F.P.S.? Sure! It is all about balance… and sometimes unadulterated fun is what I need to maintain or regain it.

For me I see it as the teeter-totter of life. As long as neither side whacks the ground and spanks my butt, I’m okay! 

Maybe work/life balance is about doing what I need to do to be balanced, not necessarily juggling a million things perfectly so that I “feel” balanced.

Waiting can be torturous!

Are you a patient person? I’m not. Not by nature anyway. I can be completely patient but it is usually a focused effort, a conscious thing. As soon as I typed that last sentence I realized there are qualifiers to that statement. Inexplicably, I can be incredibly patient and even surprise myself! But when it comes to something that is going to be positive-ly life changing for me, I vacillate back and forth (kinda like someone who has only two speeds–hysteria or lethargy–my Dad used to say). 

(5 1/2 hrs have passed)

Well, I suddenly found myself feeling very down after I got home from work. Couldn’t tell ya why but I figured I’d run through the “HALT” (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) checklist. I was hungry, lonely and tired. First things first. Nourishment. I drove myself to the diner and on the way there left a couple peeps messages. And while there I sent a few txts and got a few back. Next thing I knew, a few tears leapt out of my weary little eyeballs and ran down my cheeks. I realized, as I sat there alone, how sad I was that I’ll be celebrating my Mom’s 70th birthday without my Dad. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. And how sad my Mom must be without him. I guess sitting there eating alone triggered these thoughts. Usually, I’m fine dashing out on my own when my better half isn’t around. But tonight was different.

After a quick bite a met up with a bunch of friends that share a common goal and we hung together for an hour. I knew that would make me feel better (I planned that before I even pulled out of the driveway for the diner). I had remedied hungry and lonely.

I’m finding writing the past few days has been a great outlet.

Now I’m just tired and the only solution I know of is to go to bed. So away I go. G’night y’all. Sleep well and pleasant dreams.

The Sounds of Silence

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock goes the big clock above the sliding door. Percolator purring kitty on my lap. A motorcycle ripping down the street in the distance. A train whistle from the tracks across town. The buzz of a small aircraft flying overhead, getting louder as it closes in on the house then fades as it continues to travel east. Truck engines humming, overlapped by the train, tick-tock of the clock, percolator purring, and the slightest electrical buzzing from my laptop. A regular concerto! It’s cool to hear the sounds of silence.

I seldom have the house to myself, especially in the evening. As much as I am energized by the hustle and bustle of the day, strategizing, problem solving, thinking, analyzing… I am grateful for moments like this. It’s rejuvenating. Feels like the air getting pumped back into the deflated pool toy after it was out in the sun all day. I’m so tired I could fall asleep at my keyboard but writing is relaxing. It’s like when you tip your head sideways and thump the side of it to get the water out of your ear. That’s what it feels like when I’m writing after a day like today. 

Don’t get me wrong, today wasn’t a bad day, just draining. I had to be into work by 7:!5am to prep for a presentation that included the president as a member of the audience. Outside vendor was the presenter but I’m one of the “leads” (it’s a long story, sordid and aggravating, not the vendor, the politics of the situation) on the project. First meeting was 2+ hours straight. Then 30 minute break. Then (4) 1-hour focus groups. Followed by a 30 minute break. Followed by a 75 minute meeting that included the president again, which ended triumphantly. Another 30 minute meeting. Then straight away to an appointment from 6-7pm. Home at 7:15. Now, 12 hours may not seem like a long day but at the level of sustain that was necessary to accomplish the day’s goal, it felt much longer.

A bowl of cereal and two pieces of toast smeared with some organic not-quite-peanut-butter-spread constituted dinner (it was all the energy I felt like exerting to feed myself). And now it’s almost 9pm. One more quick business call to make and the day will be officially over. BRB.

Okay, not so quick after all. But a good debriefing about the days’ work.

Tomorrow’s to-do list: On to even bigger and better things.